Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Skinny Telegram


I invented the next flarf yesterday and you weren’t in it. I believe you to be the result of huffing certain volatile inhalants. Oven cleaner and Aqua Net. It must be lonely inside those balloons. No one wants to read a blog written inside a balloon. No one wants to read. Did I mention that your hair looks funny? You smell like Detroit, which is Pittsburgh on a bender. The next time you want a manifesto, go to Detroit. Eat something rusty.

~ Jordan


  1. Pittsburgh thanks you for recognizing Detroit. But Pittsburgh is still going to pull you from your bed, throw a black bag over your head, drive you all around town blaring the Grateful Dead and then turn you into lead, kind of like Han Solo. Then put you in a melting pot and melt you down into raw flarf. Then shape you into a reusable enema.


  2. Please. Han Solo was frozen in carbonite. Get your shit together, Pelhan.